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Bezos Offers WaPo Journalists $50 Amazon Gift Cards not to Quit

Andy Borowitz / The Borowitz Report
Bezos Offers WaPo Journalists $50 Amazon Gift Cards not to Quit Owner of Washington Post Jeff Bezos. (photo: Getty)
16 January 25

"The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, 'The Borowitz Report'."


Desperate to halt the growing exodus from the Washington Post, on Thursday Jeff Bezos offered fleeing staffers $50 Amazon gift cards in exchange for not quitting.

The profusely sweating oligarch was spotted in the lobby of the former newspaper, gift cards fanned out in his hand like a bouquet.

As journalists lugging file boxes brushed past him, Bezos raised his offer to a one-year membership in Amazon Prime.

“You people need to get over a free press,” he barked at a Pulitzer winner. “I’m offering free shipping.”

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