Musk-Trump CASH Application, a Fictional Form, Barely a Parody
Timothy Snyder Substack
American historian Timothy Snyder. (photo: Ukrainian World Congress)
ALSO SEE: Timothy Snyder: Thinking About (Substack)
A fictional form, barely a parody
Part 1.
Please answer the following questions truthfully with a yes or a no.
1. I have been paid by an entity close to the Russian government or by a Russian company.
2. I have been paid by an entity close to the Chinese government or by a Chinese company.
3. I have been convicted of a crime in the United States.
4. I have been credibly accused of sexual violence.
5. I have authored or shared racist or Nazi material on social media.
6. I have hacked and leaked sensitive data to which I have no legal right.
7. I took part in or supported an attempt to overthrow the constititional order.
8. I regularly praise a South African oligarch.
9. I have acted to ensure that billionaires should hold power and pay no taxes.
10. I propose the use of national police or armed forces against Americans.
Please award yourself ten points for each affirmative (yes) answer.
If you scored zero, please consider subjecting yourself to social media abuse on the appropriate regime platform for your naive belief in law, your laughable concern for justice, and your outdated love of country. You need not complete part 2.
If you scored fifty or above, please begin at once to behave as if you already held high-level federal employment. Report unannounced to the department of your choice. Musk-Trump will support you as necessary, and usher you through the confirmation process as appropriate. You need not complete part 2.
If your score was between 10 and 40, inclusive, please continue to part 2 of the application.
Part 2.
Essay.
Please explain, in fifty words or less, how you could personally contribute to an ongoing messaging campaign that presents the president, rather than a South African oligarch, as holding power. Answers that are copied from others or written by AI will be favorably considered. Do not, however, plagiarize from the current approach, which is the daily generation of international crisis by the president.
